GoT S7 Finale!

Everyone is converging...and it turns out, it's all about cocks. All of it. Just cocks. Or maybe bread? Yeah, gonna have to consult with Jack & Tanner on that one, but it might all be just bread. And bees. Burn or bees. And nipple shields! Yes. Those stoic, cockless Unsullied with their patented nipple shields, and the contrastingly raucous, cocked Dothraki. Eeeeeyup.

So you've got cock-obsessed Bronn still lookin' out fo' hisself, bringing traitors straight to Cersei (like the little glance Tyrion & Varys exchange there.) He also takes Pod off for a drink while the "fancy" people chat, probably hoping to find out what in the seven hells he did to those prostitutes. xD
Stuff we know: Lannisters have bad ideas, and Cleganes help them carry out those bad ideas. The Hound gets a kick out of antagonizing wights (guess he was also making sure it was still alive--er, undead.) Jon is a good ol' country boy. Cersei wants the Mountain to kill Dany, Tyrion, and Jon first, in that order, should anything go "wrong."

"Cersei will anyway." Poor Tyrion!! >>; Awww, hahaha, the Hound & Brienne...Arya don't need no protecting. ;) Then for a moment I thought he was being protective of the mule/donkey pulling their prisoner; then I went, "Oh, duh." So then he challenges/threatens his hideous bro, and Dany makes an epic, fashionably late entrance, disembarking from her clear favorite child. We get a lame dwarf joke from Euron the sicko, and Cersei's not taking this seriously either. 'Til Sandor carries up his ginormo backpack. Letting that thing charge right at Cersei was a great move--much more effective than simply holding it on a leash (or doing the "Weekend at Cersei's" thing. XD) Even Qyburn is all, "Dafuq." You've got one undead slave, but these are uncontrollable.
That's right, Jaime--fuck loyalty! Coming from Element-of-Loyalty Brienne, no less!
Goddammit, Jon....even in a completely and utterly desperate situation, you won't lie a little. -_- He's the Element of Honesty for sure. Now Tyrion's gotta risk his life cuzza you. Cersei IS the most murderous bitch in the world, my god...I kneeewww there'd be no redeeming her. They start to lead you down that path a bit, but you've still got to be thinking, "She's gonna pull some shit..." And sho' 'nuff. Let's not blame Tyrion for Myrcella and Tommen, byatch. But she seriously doesn't give one single damn about anyone but herself. Totally self-centered. Yeah, we know you couldn't care less about checking your impulses or improving the world. We've known it from the start. So poor Jaime is fiiiiina-fucking-ly ditching your psycho ass! Took him long enough, but YAS! I mean, really--conspiring with Euron behind his back! I don't believe her either, Jaime. No one can trust her. No one. Is she pregnant? Who actually gives an actual shit? I knew she wasn't going to turn around, even slowly. Throughout the entire series she's shown no signs of softening, of remorse, of a good side potentially developing. Nope. She's just drifting ever-closer to Aerys-level madness. She bald-faced lies to Dany, Jon, & Co. just to get rid of them. She lies to her brother. Literally no one can trust her! *Everyone* should ditch her ass and head north.

...Ooooh, perty snowfall. :o And yet, ominous. Winter is truuuuly HERE.
"A dragon is not a slave." ;_;
LOL, leaving Sansa alone turned out not to be safe for LITTLEFINGER. Yaaasss, the Stark kiddos played him so good...exactly what we wanted transpired at last. All the weenies moaning about "lazy writing" of "manufactured drama" between the sisters, Arya being a "jerk"....how could you have doubted them? I fucking knew they were up to something. At least that Arya was for sure. And thank goodness it was all three! From some point, anyhow. You were a good actress, Sansa. ;) Had me fooled; I was still ready to cut ya. (Assuming you were acting at that point and the plot with your siblings had been planned earlier...actually, I just learned that there was a a deleted scene where Sansa was GOING to kill Arya, but consulted with Bran & learned the truth from him. So she truly was still stupid and naive and foolish and easily manipulated after all...relying on her all-seeing brother to get her on the right track. They only got rid of it because it spoiled the surprise of her turning on Baelish, who is decidedly not bae. Ugh. Admittance to the Awesome Redheads Club suspended, pending further evaluation. Man, I knew she wasn't smart enough to have been playing Baelish the whole time...for clarification there should've been a mention at the end of how/when Sansa had consulted with her siblings so that they could work together against him. It was almost assuredly after Littlefinger intimated that Arya wanted to kill her to become LoW.)
The siblings set Baelish up and shocked the hell out of him; he certainly hadn't seen this coming, and couldn't defend himself. xD Seeing him all sniveling and pleading and vulnerable felt odd, yet of course, right and satisfying...if pitiful. ;p But eh, he's indefensible. 
The sweet sisterly reconciliation was beautiful. "The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives." There it is. Even though Ned did always say that the one who passes the sentence should swing the sword, this was close enough; they all worked together, and it seems more appropriate for Arya to be the executioner. Baelish needed to be gotten rid of. He'd have been high on Arya's list long ago had she known.

Poor Jorah...!! ;; He wants to protect Dany, of course. (Poor Tyrion, too. ><) I'd just wear a hood, though; hide your hair. ;p
Good boy, Theon. (Who's a good boy??) Jon's SUCH a gud boi, too, to forgive you. But theennn, guess what! Your cocklessness proves a blessing when you stand up to that dickhole that wanted to forget Yara and continue your old ways. You kept gettin' knocked down and gettin' up again, he wasn't gonna keep ya down...and then ya wailed on him like BOO-YAAAHHHH!! Very inspiring. Now I hope you won't have to sacrifice yourself to save Yara. We shall see. I thought they might wrap that up this season, but I guess it'll be dealt with alongside the Great War and fucking Cersei. Speaking of whom--she's got a mercenary army coming from Essos with...wait, how the hell's Euron gonna get the elephants here? He's got ships big enough for that? You motherfuckers. (Well, we can hope the Golden Company will switch sides, eh? ;-)

We finally saw the 3-eyed raven, p/k/a Bran, being useful and doing the stuff we've waited for all season. Also, I love the way Sam talks. He's so adorable. "Ohh...! ...I don't know what means..." Nobody does, Sam. XD And yes, we know it was Gilly who first discovered the info on the annulment; I thought she was reading some of the stuff he had yet to transcribe. So he did read it in what he was transcribing, just as he told Bran, and he would've seen it whether or not Gilly had started to read it aloud. That was just a little premature shoutout for all of us who already knew. It would've been unnecessary for Sam to go, "My girl read about Rhaegar's annulment and then I transcribed the account of it." She was the first to (unknowingly) speak a word of it, so kudos to her for that, but Sam didn't lie or really need to give her credit for the discovery, or steal any glory from her. The only reason Sam now knows that his info is significant is that he just learned Aegon is Jon; it didn't mean anything major to him or Gilly before. Imagine "Jon Sand," though. Ain't got the same ring. So, hearing about the wedding from Sam allows Bran to see it. :O :D It's too weird to start calling Jon Aegon, though. xD He'll always be our Jon! Even if we sometimes call him "Egg" too...heheh.
We've got someone who knows nothing, including his true name and lineage...someone who can supposedly know any- and everything...someone who drinks and knows things...lul.

Yeah yeah, epic boatsex. We know. (WHO'S TOO LITTLE FOR YA NOW, DANY?!) Just wait'll they find out they screwed their aunt/nephew, and the actual heir to the Iron Throne bent the knee to the, like, second in line...who thought she was the last one and obviously the rightful queen. But see, she wants to rule and he isn't really interested. Is that going to change? I think there's a great chance they're both the Prince *and* Princess who were Promised, but I'd rather not have them married as king and queen. x-p Even though they're currently falling in love. Dx I guess he could just turn it over to her, but still be right by her side, and then everybody could be happy? And they can be close in a proper aunt-nephew kinda way, and maaaaybe she can marry and have kids with someone (*cough Jorah cough*??), or they can just hold a vote for their next king/queen/president. (Assuming Jon doesn't get her friggin' pregnant NOW, before learning who he really is. But with all the talk of her not being able to have more kids...=/ ) That's kind of what I've been hoping, though--the best possible ending with all the surviving good guys surrounding and helping her rule peacefully, and well. But hey, this is fucking GoT we're talking about here, so we may just as likely see the Night King win and wipe out humanity! =D Fuck it anyway, right? Most people are just dumb cunts!

YET. We can't help rooting for our 'good guys' in the face of all these enemies. (The Walkers have giants, ffs! Multiple giants!!) Night King's all, "Viserion, Ice Beam, now!" And it hurts so much to see our boi obey him. Down cometh ye olde Wall. Yonder cometh le dead. Pretty ice beams, though. I knew he'd breathe them--duh. Was surprised people were even wondering what he'd shoot now. (Edit: Apparently it's blue fire? Okay. Yeah. Well, either way it's the same effect, and you have ice+fire uniting on both sides of the Gr8 War.)
Also, Tormund & Beric had better be okay (and now I get why Beric had bid the Hound farewell last ep.) I really don't think they would've killed them without showing it, though, so most probably they got down and away in time and will show up next season. =} After all, the LoL didn't send Beric back six times just for THAT.
So this is really what we're down to now, since the last season will be shorter in number of episodes--but each one is supposed to be what, hour-and-a-half-ish too? (How I'd love a two-hour series finale!) So maybe it'll even out to what the ten-episode seasons were? We must hope. And commence a rewatch from episode 1 'til the final ones are here. The last season should be somewhere between this one and a regular one in length. Man oh man. Gotta defeat the dead AND Euron and Cersei. X_X Hopefully the Hound'll kill the Mountain somewhere in all of it. Bronn, you can only count on helping the side that looks like it's winning. (Hell, he'll join the dead if the Night King promises him a castle and a whore! xD) Will we see Daario again? I doubt it, but who knows? Same with Meera and whoever else doesn't seem promised a comeback. This leaves two people who could return and make a big difference. One, Melisandre, is virtually guaranteed. You can imagine her bringing some serious man/womanpower from Volantis and who knows what (might even see Kinvara again?) The other person is Jaqen, and the Faceless Men...might they yet have some role in all this? Or is he done with? (Oh, and of course, let's not forget our nonhuman allies--Ghost, Nymeria, and her pack will surely be heroes as well! We need all the help we can get!)
Anyways, the lines are drawn and it's on. Most of what was expected to happen in this finale did, so time to start speculating on just how this war's gonna go--on all fronts! 

*lol irl I just said "Dan & Jonny" instead of "Jon & Dany"*

S7E06: "Beyond the Wall"

"Gingers are beautiful. We're kissed by fire." YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, TORMUND.

Stream-of-consciousness reacting...had five extra days to get this ish out thanks to the accidental upload on Wednesday. ;3 Still watched the official Sunday-night premiere, of course. Not only do we want the show to keep on shattering the record, but I missed a number of lines thanks to the worst-behaved, most ADHD puppy I can remember having (*cough Hurricane Cain cough*)
Walking and talking! Leading up to something massive, ofc. 'Til it's too windy to speak much. There's talk of histories and fathers, callbacks to much earlier events...the beautiful sexiness of gingers, who're kissed by fire...I swear, every one of Tormund's lines was comedy gold. Love him so much. He thinks Winterfell is "south." xD Gotta say though, I'm still not ready to admit Sansa into ARC (Awesome Redheads Club), though. Tormund learned the word "dick," and between him and the Hound it seems implied that...wildlings'll swing every which way they need to?? Take whatever they can get...xD; Lol. "Suck my dick--or cock!"--Tourette's Guy/Sandor Clegane
But nope, Tormund prefers pussy. ;D And that carve-you-up-and-eat-your-liver look of true love! ^w^
I was most scared for Tormund & Jorah because I kinda ship them with Brienne and Dany...it'd suck for them not to return and Brienne to maybe wish she'd been, I dunno, a bit more friendly and appreciative of his admiring attraction? And for Dany to lose Jorah, whom she obviously loves--but perhaps still not in the way she's been feeling toward Jon? Again, not that I can blame her or Jon for this; they're both very attractive and awesome. But! So is Jorah. Tormund is a hot, rugged ginger. Jorah's a hot, rugged blonde. Jon's a hot, broody dude with raven curls. Jaime's a hot, clean-cut, chiseled blondie. Uggghhh--life's full of tough choices, iddinit?! Seriously, almost everyone on the show is hot, or at least cute. xp Even the people who're made out to be quite hideous by the books (Tyrion, Brienne...I mean, they uglied Gwendoline up as much as you can ugly-up a pretty lady, but Tormund's attraction is still quite understandable...!) So, anyway.
No one mentioned Arya!! :o
Quit your infernal whinging, Gendry! You dummy. XD Lmao. They're like, "Sounds all right so far. Strapped to a bed naked, leeches...kinky!" (And ain't nothin' wrong with witches, yo! ;p But fine, yeah, priestess.) Great convos among the guys as they headed out. Gee, wonder why Jon doesn't look much like his "father?" "That's all anyone can tell me--'I don't know.'" And that's why you know nothing, Jonny-boy! Although, you & Beric seem onto something. ;]

First obstacle: undead bear! Hound's phobia renders him paralyzed & unable to help Thoros, who shoved him out of the way...Thoros is injured, but Beric is able to cauterize the wound with his sword and let him last longer. Obviously The Hound feels responsible for his death. (He & Thoros were the easiest to identify in any wild battle sequence with those rad flaming swords!)
They got their captive, but too easily...suddenly surrounded and trapped, because thankfully the dead don't swim. (Which is probably why Jon's still alive.) Hound now has no choice but to believe in the LoL, but thinks he's a cunt just like every other lord he's ever met. xD He decides to start chucking rocks at the wights out of boredom (after kicking their struggling captive), but that becomes a huuuuge fucking "whoopsie" when the second one skids across the solid ice in the front of them...showing the dead that they can advance. ("Ice" going, mate; everything's your fault! xD;) After that, everything goes to hell. I was SO SCARED for Tormund and totally thought he was a goner there for a minute; thank goodness they didn't do that to us. You redeemed yourself, Sandor. (That was set up earlier by the "I don't think you're really mean; you have sad eyes" thing. Awww.) Thought they should've immediately been breaking the ice around themselves.
So now, they all would've been completely screwed if not for Dany. The union of her & Jon is clearly necessary. They'd sent Gendry running back to Eastwatch without his hammer because he was the fastest...I was like, "Hope you have a good memory and paid attention to landmarks!" This is the episode where I started to become a bit more critical of the travel-time aspect. How long was the group trapped on the ice, waiting for Gendry to run back and have the raven sent and then have Dany come rescue them? Ravens and dragons fly fast. ;) Westerosi horses tend to be speedy as well. xD At this point, though, you can't lose momentum and devote scenes to travel or establishing time passage (unless something very significant happens along the way or in the meantime.) Specific lengths aren't as important as just getting the order in which events are occurring; all along I've felt that you should be able to piece it together yourself and guesstimate well enough. The complaints about distance and people/ravens "zipping all over the country" seemed hyperbolic.
The party only lost one member, which was one mercy we were spared. Things could've been worse. "Don't you dare fall, goddamit Jorah! None of you idiots fall off this dragon, got it?!" Poor Thoros. Now he can't bring Beric back anymore...but, Beric said he was tired of that and waiting for the end to finally come, so. Guess he'll probably be on his last life this time. Actually, the squad apparently had some redshirts along who only appeared when it was time for someone nameless to get killed? That was weird.

Backtrack to Dragonstone: Dany starts by praising Tyrion for not being a stupid, reckless, life-wasting Gryffindor. ("Billy, don't be a hero...!" 'Specially if you're doing it to impress a wuvwy wady...) Of course, this is a setup for her setting off to save the totally-fucked crew up north with all three of her dragons--much to Tyrion's terrified dismay. "If the most important person in the world dies, everything and everyone is lost!" But she can't/won't do nothing, as he advises. Tyr had been taking Varys' advice, trying to get her to listen to their point of view. For a few minutes there, it seemed that Daenerys was growing too exasperated with all of this patience and mercy and planning. Yes, Aegon got pretty far on fear, but how'd it all end up? It probably is impossible to win a war without deceit and mass murder--and in this land, impossible to build a better world without a war. Yet your goal is to break the old wheel and not become an actual tyrant, right? Don't keep on spinning it. Popular support will be invaluable. The only ashes you wanna be queen of are the Ash Ketchums who say "I choose you" like Varys did. ;D "Mega Charizard X, Fireblast, now!" 
 Tyrion's caution at the moment is concerned with what happens should Dany be killed--who will be the successor? Who can maintain her vision? He's less interested in actually laying a trap for Cersei, and his queen isn't so sure about all this. 'Succession? We'll discuss that after I wear the crown!' Hmm. Can we think both short AND long-term, guys?

Tyrion is right about getting into your enemy's mindset to anticipate their moves (keep your friends close but...) Still, they could go on forever with the volleying of fair point against fair point. Tyrion still advocates imprisonment and captivity over immediate execution of defeated foes. That WOULD make you stand out from other rulers. Yet she also has to let everyone know that she's super cereal and means business to be taken cereally as a person, and not just because she controls friggin' dragons. (And frankly, she's not obligated to spare soldiers in open rebellion to remain consistent with their vision.) Point, though, is that what NEEDED to happen to get through to her was for her to fly north and see for herself that Jon is right--the army of the dead is the most immediate threat to ALL of humanity. If they breach the Wall and head south, it'll be apocalyptic. They can continue adding to their numbers by reanimating corpses.
She shows up in the nick of time, naturally, and OH MY FUCK...her face watching Viserion die from the accursed Night King's spear...;n; MY CHILDREN, MY ONLY CHILDREN. Knowing she has to get the others to safety and leave Jon behind. Having them wait for his seemingly miraculous return, courtesy of Uncle Benjen--who might now fulfill people's expectation of becoming a wight himself? If they remove the dragonglass? ;; Aw, man. Y'know, last week when I said I wanted an ice dragon, I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THIS. I meant one for Dany...! Dx Damn you, D&D/GRRM. But no, they wouldn't make one person that overpowered. Especially not someone you like. x-p Also, I guess the Hound's heading off on his own again?

Mom and I were afraid that Jon was gonna give up the ghost again, and someone would have to run and get Melisandre back--unless Beric could do it, but I don't think so 'cause he's not an actual priest. However, the good thing is that Jon seems to have sufficient plot armor to keep him around until the end, or much closer to it (how many people would be severely upset if he just dropped permanently off the show now?) Orrr you could end up with Whitewalker Jon. *-* But yeah, he and Beric obviously have some great destiny for which they can be brought back, so losing him isn't aaaaaas scary as losing anyone else. Just like before, you know he couldn't be gone for good anyway.

Well NK, you fucked now, boi. Because you do NOT mess with the Dragon Queen's kiddos. Still...this is soooo not good. They're gonna need all the help and reinforcements they can possibly get. This affects literally everyone. Not only did you lose a dragon, but he's been turned against you. (Is this going to be any surprise to them? Can they plan for this?) Is there any hope for the "I know you're still in there, it's me, listen to me, don't fight against your mother" trope? Like, is Viserion actually in the beyond, or are there remnants of him in the body that could yet be reached? Because if Viserion remains loyal to his mum, that would be AMAZING...two fire dragons and an ice one on your side, boy. 'Swut I'm talkin' 'bout.
So. Dany's priorities have shifted. The truth of Jon's ice zombies couldn't be clearer, and their leader has literally killed one of her precious children. This SO means war. She swears that she will help the north defeat the Night King, and recuperating Jon finally bends the figurative knee (as Tormund would've recommended.) See, now they've both seen each other in action--seen one another's true colors shining through. ("And that's why I love you...not necessarily romantically?!?! Oh fuck.") He's sorry that this mission went so horrifically badly and cost the life of one of her dragons. He can now tell everyone else that she is definitely someone worth following as queen. She's less concerned with the knee-bending now, bound and determined to avenge Viserion and save the world from the Night King. Somehow. She's not even sorry she came to their rescue, because only seeing that army with her own eyes could truly impress upon her just how dire their situation is. She wants to be worthy of Jon's allegiance. Then she notices his "longing" gaze and checks out of his room, heh.
NOW the question is...could we EVER expect the Mad Queen down in King's Landing to join forces without scheming, underhanded intentions to eliminate Dany & Jon & Co. when and if they can defeat the walkers?? I could see this becoming the turning point for Jaime--honestly, it's getting pathetic watching him continue to be his sister's lapdog. (Pussywhipped...;p) He's SO much more likable the moment he's apart from her. His time with Brienne really did good things for him as a person. And whatta ya know, guess who's headed to King's Landing?! Because Sansa's like, "Pfffft, I ain't goin'; they want me, they can come get me themselves. You go!"
Aaaand Jon calls her "Dany." Which no one in the show has done for quite some time. x3 Was it her bro? Haha. Yeah, he was a douche, but you still named one of your kids after him. ;p So how would Jon, who knows nothing, know of her nickname? Aahhh, right. Secret-Targaryen-ness gives you certain abilities. >w<

Love polygons going on? Tyrion seems to fancy Dany...but she just called shortastic Jon "too little" for her, to an actual, somewhat heroic dwarf. xD; "Sorry I didn't mean it that way!" Awww. I still like Jaime/Brienne despite ALSO LOVING the image of magnificent Brienne/Tormund offspring. I'm so TORN! I mean, we don't know whether she "like-likes" Jaime either. Aurgh. And WHEENNNN is everyone finally going to learn that Jon's a Stark-Targaryen and Dany's nephew?! Which is, weird to think, but true. I just wanna see the effects that that revelation is gonna have on everything.

Mind games going on at Winterfell. Pleeeeease, Arya, realize what Littlefinger's doing and outplay the asshole. Slice him up. You can't trust him as far as you could throw him. Bran? You've been less useful than it seems you oughta be. How about you tell your damn sisters the truth about that scumbucket? Once he's outta the way, there'll be plenty of time for dealing with the question of whether or not Sansa may still be a family traitor. He ain't a fighter; even Brienne is checkmated by Arya--guy don't stand a chance. Let this finally be the end of the line--uh, the ladder--for him.
Arya confronts her sis about the letter she sent while she was still a stupid little girl willing to fuck her family over for her sweet Prince Joffrey. Good point about Lyanna Mormont in particular--oh, that little firecracker would be disgusted with you, Sansa. ;p Sooo, she later finds Arya's satchel full of rubber masks. Girl should've put some of the latex animal ones in there too (such as my white Poodle head!) Arya tries to play the game of faces with her, then seems to threaten her life--but ultimately hands her the dagger and leaves the room. :0 Ay, yi, yi. Some of what Sansa says is true, but...it feels like one step forward and two back with her...she thinks she's become so smart, but is she still being easily manipulated by Littlefinger? Arya wouldn't have survived what you did? Really?? I doubt that very much. If you're gonna do stupid things, I too would pick anger as my motive, but **please girls don't do anything dumb either way!!!**
Other peeps we needa see again? Theon, hopefully saving Yara. Nearly forgot about those guys in all this. Judging from the preview...well, I saw Theon, and the Unsullied, and I think the Ironborn...both sides lining up. Probably/hopefully, it'll open with this huge Cersei meeting. (Btw, you gonna tell her you lost a dragon? At first she'll be all, 'Ooh good, you've been weakened'--but if the Night King can kill dragons, that should help paint the picture of how fucking urgent this is.)

GoT, S7E05: "Eastwatch"

LMAO @ Bronn! Ya derped, Jaime. What WERE you thinking? Get yourself killed taking out the enemy--who shouldn't be the enemy? "Only I get to kill you!" Man wants his reward, lol. "No, YOU'RE fucked!" XD

So then, Randyll and Dickon...wtf, guys? You know what, though, Sam's still around--and he's gonna be a great man. No, hell, he already is! So whatevs, Dicko. Anyway. Daenerys' decision here...it's neither "mad" nor unjust, really. On the one hand, would it be a good idea to take Tyrion's suggestion, and give them more time to possibly change their minds? Maybe. But she made her case well, she gave them a fair choice. Help her destroy the wheel and make the world a better place, or die. These were defeated enemy soldiers given the opportunity to serve a non-evil queen instead. Two of them made a stupid choice. Dany is clearly thinking that too much mercy won't pay off in this, the Great Game. And Randyll's choice was based on idiotic reasons...Tywin deserved what he got, 'kay? And the rest is simply xenophobia. Cersei has always lived in Westeros, and therefore she's a fitter queen than you. Uummm...? Sir, you treated your awesome son horrifically, betrayed the Queen of Cool (Olenna), and named your other son DICKON. Can't say I'm very sorry to see you go. Kindly dick off, eh? (And Dicko, YOU FOOL! *in Gilbert Gottfried voice*) Only other thing I can say here, is that Tyrion may have a legitimate concern about not...abusing the dragons? Overusing? Maybe, exercising a bit more restraint when it comes to them? Because we don't want to give them a bad name, and have everyone resenting and loathing them, obeying purely out of fear of the destruction they can wreak. Their mother shouldn't get too dragon-happy. These magnificent "beasts" are your beautiful children, and we don't want innocent people coming to despise them, yes? Just a lil' thought.

Dany's point is truthful; it will never be possible in this world to help all without hurting some. Aaaand, Jon's still not ready to tell her he literally returned from the dead. Guess letting that slip when you're trying to convince people to help you fight the actual walking dead might not seem like the greatest move. Varys wants Dany to be more merciful and refrain from executing those who refuse to bend the knee. Aiight, he's...a sensitive guy (not merely due to being a eunuch, surely), and he certainly doesn't want to let his queen go down her dad's path. Which, I don't think she will. Tyrion justified her action quite well, though he was obviously also attempting to convince himself. Justice vs. mercy again. I mean, she wasn't all crazed and giddy; she proclaimed the sentence and invoked "Dracarys" in a calm, sorry-it-has-to-be-this-way tone after having given them the chance to explain themselves, and to join her. She and Tyrion attempted to reason with them. Would it have been better not to kill them? Just lock 'em up? I see her point about not being here with the goal of murdering people OR putting them in chains. Oh, 'tis a difficult matter indeed. BUT, least we know one thing: Varys' secret is that he is actually Ethel Mertz, Pokemon Master and Reader of Other People's Mail. (*fake offended gasp* "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North! 'Course I read it.") Reckon it's time for people to quit doubting his sincerity, too (I'm looking at you, Lesdogg.)

If Cersei's gonna go down, she wants to go down fighting (or, well, having other people fight for her)...of course. *p* HA! Olenna eliminated your monstrous spawn and received a merciful death herself. Suck on that, byotch. Damn, though--she's still got her gold to pay back the bank. Was hoping Drogon scorched that AND her food, but we'll take what we can. Cersei's definitely fighting a losing battle. ;D Even though it would've been terrific for the bank to switch to Dany, hehee.

Jon & Drogon! Lovely foreshadowing, there. ;) *pet-pet-pet*
Birdy-Bran has a raven sent to the Citadel, and Sam, hoo boy, he know what up!! Damn, that rant about the shits (and steps and windows) was BRILLIANT. The maesters really are too skeptical and slow to act at this point; they've grown very complacent and insulated in there. Time for Sammy-boy to bust out--figured that was coming in short order. You go, my rebellious, proactive little apparent book thief! (And hey, your pop was even more of a dick than your brother's name would indicate. You are Best Tarly by a long shot. Go get 'em.)

WE GOT: "Team Capture-a-Walker" (or, y'know, a Wight) ready to git out there and nab us some proof. Grand plan. I mean, short of inventing the camera and recording them. Poor Tyr got all emotional during his meeting with Jaime. When Cersei hears "armistice," she figures she can try to be all sneaky. F U. OH NO, NOT AGAIN! Not a fourth twincest baby! Dx I was like, "Pleaaaase be lying..." *fingers crossed* "And this time we'll just tell everyone you the daddy! I don't give two shits anymore!" Mm, yanno who probably wouldn't be too happy about that? Euron, who still hopes to wed her. Not that she gives a damn or necessarily intends to grant him anything. "Never betray me again." No, do it, Jaime. DO IIIIT. She be mad fucked-up. But that look on his face gives me hope. (Also just read a hypothesis 'splaining why her being pregnant again could actually be good...)

Gendry's back! Finally. Gotta admit I'm a tad disappointed that he wasn't rowing right up until the day prior to Davos' visit. Or better still, that they didn't find him on the water! Turns out he's just been bored all this time, forging weapons for the despised Lannisters. Well, thanks for hammering those bitches, Gend. That scene was great...aw, man. Davos Seaworth, master bullshitter. xD Tyrion came along too soon and ruined it; whoopsie. (Also, the awkward exchange about what happened the last time either of them was there...xD;)
And Davos' "better a coward" quotes when Gendry joined Jon's forces were hilarious too ("Nobody mind me, all I did was live to a ripe old age...!")

But Tormund rivals Davos (and Sam! and Bronn) for the Quotes of the Week. "Which queen, the one with the dragons or the one that fucks her brother?" "The big woman?" Awww, he's probably been like, doodling little pictures of Brienne up there...:'} And leave it to a ginger to just be brutally honest! xD Anyways, so, Team Capture-a-Walker consists of him, Jon, Jorah, the Hound, Beric, Thoros, and Gendry. The trio we haven't seen for a while got there, and even old Sandor apparently believes in the LoL (Lord of Light) now. What a motley crew! ;p There were a few little disagreements before they pulled together, though. Gendry, again, like Varys, has good reason to distrust Beric & Thoros. But, I think we need to listen to Beric & Jon--"It doesn't matter what we think our purposes are." 'We're all on the same side; there's a greater purpose at work here, we can serve it together.' Voices of reason. Yes, work together! Ffs, get along or I'll belt yas. ("What's gonna work? TEEEEEEAAAMWORK!")
Also, in defense of Melisandre...nothing she's done has been out of her own will or any cruelty or sadism...but rather in pursuit, ultimately, of the same noble objective the rest of our "heroes" share. She's not evil. She did what she truly believed was required of her as a faithful LoL servant. And though she fucked up in a huge way (and knows it, being on the right track now), her faith's not misplaced. The LoL, it appears, is for realsies. We shall see what part he and the prophecy play in the final battles.

Now, JORAH...okay, I wish he'd credited Sam right away with curing him, but I'm sure that'll come up later. As of now, I'm shipping him and Dany, because we're getting closer to the reveal of Jon being her nephew (KEEP READING THAT BOOK, SAM & GILLY. Don't let your kid slobber all over it! Dx) Hopefully that'll turn her obviously strong feelings for HIM into simply familial ones. Here we see her having such feels for two different men, and for a long time now I've thought the idea of her eventually letting Jorah out of the friendzone (by actually falling in love with him, not just because he wants it) super-cute. So we'll see, but that's what I'm hopin' for. Honestly, it's hard to know whom to ship in this show (like, will we even see Hot Pie again?), but for her I'm sticking with that. "OUR QUEEN NEEDS YOU." Indeed, mofo. To fall in lurvy-durv with. Still, she's "grown used" to the King in the North over the past however-long he's been on Dragonstone, and clearly cares deeply about both these men. And now she's watching them leave for a dangerous mission in the frozen North, headed beyond the Wall to return some desperately-needed proof. ;_; (Will aaaaanything knock sense into Cersei?!) 

Ya also got muthafuggin' Littlefucker attempting to drive a wedge between Arya & Sansa, sowing seeds of sisterly animosity. Piss Arya off at Sansa, make Sansa see her murderous little sis as dangerous, get closer to his goal... OUTWIT HIM, Arya. And please, for the love of piping-hot pies, kill the slimeball. Both sisters raised good points in their little tiff there, about the jerks dissing Jon and the need for everyone to work together diplomatically versus using force....and then of course, the matter of Sansa "getting what she really wants." Oh, Arya, how could you even voice such a terrible thought? ;P Y'know, I'd been kinda sorta tilting toward Sansa's side for once. Never mind.

Only two episodes left of this season already? That's madness. Even if the finale is 80 minutes. (And the Season 8 ones are all that long, but there are only six...? Is that what my brother read before? I think so--or something similar. He hypothesized the writers realizing they couldn't wrap it all up with only this many episodes remaining, and having to give us a ninth season...I'm not holding out hope, though. It's probably already plotted.) I need more than an hour a week, man! ;.; The pace has obviously picked up rapidly as we begin approaching the climax, and there's really not much you can call "filler" anymore...aahh. I hate how the end of each ep slams on the brakes and whiplashes you and makes you wait another damn week. Supposedly the finale ends on a cliffhanger too, which, yeah, sure, is exactly what we need...totally. *-*

GoT S7E04: "The Spoils of War"

What do we now know?
Bronn wants a castle (so he can play Pretty Pretty Princess.)
Meera IS returning to her family, but it wasn't a pleasant parting. Bran, could you fucking spare the "thank you" to this girl who's dragged your crippled ass Bob knows how many miles and risked her life for you?? Yeah, look, we get that you're actually an all-seeing raven now, so you've probably got a lot on your weird mind...but she's right. You fucked Hodor up, and then he, Jojen, and Summer died for your sake. We're getting a bit sick of your whole "no one can understand me anymore, I'm so beyond you all" attitude. Mmkay? 

...LONG-awaited Stark reunion!! ALL of the high-fives to Arya & Dany this episode, seriously. Arya comes home and impresses the hell outta Brienne, who must know what she means by "no one." Girl's got hella style! Pod still has some work to do. xD And fuck you, Sansa, if you have any kinda problem with what Arya's done. Combat skills, the ability to take out your enemies, will only be major assets. Sorry she's not *quite* the perfect, totally pure and innocent little sis for whom you might've hoped.
Bran gives Arya the dagger, which seems a wise choice. Sansa's right about one thing--Littlefinger ain't generous. He's always smirking in the shadows, like he's got some nefarious plot cooking. But Bran totally spooked him with the "Chaos is a ladder." >;-) THAT wasn't "something you've seen before," eh, mate?? Between Bran and Arya, he may be in trouble real soon. *grin*

Missandei misses Grey Worm; Dany wants the skinny on what went down between them, hahaha. XD Gossip girl time! Jon shows her the cave with the dragonglass and the record of the past Whitewalker battle. She is persuaded to help him, but still wants him to bend the knee first. BUT THEN! Sadfaced-Tyrion and Varys bear shitty news. Dany accuses him of going easy on his family, and it does seem true that, at least, he'd rather not hurt Jaime. Dany then asks--WWJSD?? (To which the answer remains, not burn cities to the ground and kill thousands of innocents.) So, what's a poor girl to do...? `\`

Theon pull yer boat ashore! We all knew he'd try to rescue Yara.
They're starting with the shipper fuel, uggggghhh. With the arm-touching to guide her in the cave, and ol' chatterbox Davos accusing Jon of looking at her bewbs. Well, tbh I never could blame either of them for feeling attracted! ;) However, hopefully they'll learn of their relationship soon and that'll shut it right down. She's different enough from her ancestors that I doubt she'd dig the idea of marrying her nephew, either. And 'sides, "King Jon" has the Katniss attitude of "there's no time for romantic bullshit anyway."
Missandei makes it clear that she and everyone here from Essos serve Dany by choice. Davos still quite likes her and wants to consider switching sides, haha. And once again, Jon is given reason to consider bending the knee to Dany.  

On to the whole caravan scene that went by so quickly, it made the episode feel short (also because there wasn't so much bouncing about from one short scene to another.) Bronn, you bastard. x-p I like Dickon, fresh out of Fancy-Lad School. (Hey Dickon, where's Dickoff?) So the Tarlys and even Jaime regret having "had" to go against Olenna. ={ And now, Jaime refuses to abandon his army as the Dothraki and Drogon race toward them, bellowing their war cries (Dad's like, "They're gonna be out of breath by the time they get there." xD) Oh, yeah--Dany's 'boutta try and even these odds back out. The Dothraki start kickin' mad ass, Tyrion's watching...keeping an eye on his one-handed brother, man. ;; His fucking idiot brother. Aiight, so was it Bronn or Dickon or some random dude who pushed him into the water? It had to be one of the named guys. And we can assume he won't drown...right? Someone will pull him up. But ugh, the actual worst part of this episode is the dead horses, and watching Dany trying to pull the spear from her 'son''s side. Damn you, Bronn. At least now they're aware of the 'Scorpion' crossbows and can keep an eye out for them, knowing not to be an easy, non-zig-zagging target like Rickon again. Dodge, bob and weave, be a moving target! Do a barrel roll! xD
Fuckin' Cersei's bank deal, and army, seem to have just gone up in smoke? Muuuuahahaha, yaaaayyy. *long yeah boi* 

Next week looks amazeballs--and also full of terrors. Holy shitemother. (But what do Varys and Tyrion want to get Dany, presumably, to listen to? Don't let one successful dragon attack go to your head, girl...!!)
Y'know, a water and/or an ice dragon would be super-helpful to have in addition to the standard firebreathing ones...8/

So almost everyone is accounted for now. Everybody's who still around and has been a major player since the early seasons seems to be here for a reason, with some role to play in the coming war. Jorah is on his way back to Dany, and he should be a valuable asset. Sam (and Gilly and their son) will be, at least, conveying important information--but will he eventually leave the Citadel and wind up back in the North or something? The Hound and his current "pack" will hopefully reappear next week. We should soon see Tormund & the Wildlings (yes, it's a band) shortly as well, since I think the preview told us that Bran sees the Walkers heading toward Eastwatch. Melisandre, Ghost, and Nymeria with her pack may not show up again until the final season, but in all likelihood they'll come through in some big saving-the-day kinda ways. Tbh, we should've seen Ghost more often at Winterfell, but an episode like this shows where the majority of the CGI budget has to go...so I understand that the wolves are too expensive to create and animate if their presence onscreen isn't significant enough to the plot development. 

People we may not see again: Jaqen? Daario? Hot Pie (we better friggin' see HP again, at the very least...if we ain't crownin' him king...;p) Guess we're to have assumed that Gendry reached his destination long ago and that was that (either this, or he's still rowing about to this very day. Which is what they say.) Ellaria & Tyene...unless Ellaria somehow escapes the dungeon, I don't really think we'll cut back to them. It'd be good if the rest of Dorne still wanted to fight for Dany, but...I guess we're just accepting that by losing their leader, we've lost the whole army? =\ Idk, now they should want to go at Cersei with a vengeance. ;p But then, just about everybody should, so. Yuh. B-|