GoT, S7E05: "Eastwatch"

LMAO @ Bronn! Ya derped, Jaime. What WERE you thinking? Get yourself killed taking out the enemy--who shouldn't be the enemy? "Only I get to kill you!" Man wants his reward, lol. "No, YOU'RE fucked!" XD

So then, Randyll and Dickon...wtf, guys? You know what, though, Sam's still around--and he's gonna be a great man. No, hell, he already is! So whatevs, Dicko. Anyway. Daenerys' decision here...it's neither "mad" nor unjust, really. On the one hand, would it be a good idea to take Tyrion's suggestion, and give them more time to possibly change their minds? Maybe. But she made her case well, she gave them a fair choice. Help her destroy the wheel and make the world a better place, or die. These were defeated enemy soldiers given the opportunity to serve a non-evil queen instead. Two of them made a stupid choice. Dany is clearly thinking that too much mercy won't pay off in this, the Great Game. And Randyll's choice was based on idiotic reasons...Tywin deserved what he got, 'kay? And the rest is simply xenophobia. Cersei has always lived in Westeros, and therefore she's a fitter queen than you. Uummm...? Sir, you treated your awesome son horrifically, betrayed the Queen of Cool (Olenna), and named your other son DICKON. Can't say I'm very sorry to see you go. Kindly dick off, eh? (And Dicko, YOU FOOL! *in Gilbert Gottfried voice*) Only other thing I can say here, is that Tyrion may have a legitimate concern about not...abusing the dragons? Overusing? Maybe, exercising a bit more restraint when it comes to them? Because we don't want to give them a bad name, and have everyone resenting and loathing them, obeying purely out of fear of the destruction they can wreak. Their mother shouldn't get too dragon-happy. These magnificent "beasts" are your beautiful children, and we don't want innocent people coming to despise them, yes? Just a lil' thought.

Dany's point is truthful; it will never be possible in this world to help all without hurting some. Aaaand, Jon's still not ready to tell her he literally returned from the dead. Guess letting that slip when you're trying to convince people to help you fight the actual walking dead might not seem like the greatest move. Varys wants Dany to be more merciful and refrain from executing those who refuse to bend the knee. Aiight, he's...a sensitive guy (not merely due to being a eunuch, surely), and he certainly doesn't want to let his queen go down her dad's path. Which, I don't think she will. Tyrion justified her action quite well, though he was obviously also attempting to convince himself. Justice vs. mercy again. I mean, she wasn't all crazed and giddy; she proclaimed the sentence and invoked "Dracarys" in a calm, sorry-it-has-to-be-this-way tone after having given them the chance to explain themselves, and to join her. She and Tyrion attempted to reason with them. Would it have been better not to kill them? Just lock 'em up? I see her point about not being here with the goal of murdering people OR putting them in chains. Oh, 'tis a difficult matter indeed. BUT, least we know one thing: Varys' secret is that he is actually Ethel Mertz, Pokemon Master and Reader of Other People's Mail. (*fake offended gasp* "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North! 'Course I read it.") Reckon it's time for people to quit doubting his sincerity, too (I'm looking at you, Lesdogg.)

If Cersei's gonna go down, she wants to go down fighting (or, well, having other people fight for her)...of course. *p* HA! Olenna eliminated your monstrous spawn and received a merciful death herself. Suck on that, byotch. Damn, though--she's still got her gold to pay back the bank. Was hoping Drogon scorched that AND her food, but we'll take what we can. Cersei's definitely fighting a losing battle. ;D Even though it would've been terrific for the bank to switch to Dany, hehee.

Jon & Drogon! Lovely foreshadowing, there. ;) *pet-pet-pet*
Birdy-Bran has a raven sent to the Citadel, and Sam, hoo boy, he know what up!! Damn, that rant about the shits (and steps and windows) was BRILLIANT. The maesters really are too skeptical and slow to act at this point; they've grown very complacent and insulated in there. Time for Sammy-boy to bust out--figured that was coming in short order. You go, my rebellious, proactive little apparent book thief! (And hey, your pop was even more of a dick than your brother's name would indicate. You are Best Tarly by a long shot. Go get 'em.)

WE GOT: "Team Capture-a-Walker" (or, y'know, a Wight) ready to git out there and nab us some proof. Grand plan. I mean, short of inventing the camera and recording them. Poor Tyr got all emotional during his meeting with Jaime. When Cersei hears "armistice," she figures she can try to be all sneaky. F U. OH NO, NOT AGAIN! Not a fourth twincest baby! Dx I was like, "Pleaaaase be lying..." *fingers crossed* "And this time we'll just tell everyone you the daddy! I don't give two shits anymore!" Mm, yanno who probably wouldn't be too happy about that? Euron, who still hopes to wed her. Not that she gives a damn or necessarily intends to grant him anything. "Never betray me again." No, do it, Jaime. DO IIIIT. She be mad fucked-up. But that look on his face gives me hope. (Also just read a hypothesis 'splaining why her being pregnant again could actually be good...)

Gendry's back! Finally. Gotta admit I'm a tad disappointed that he wasn't rowing right up until the day prior to Davos' visit. Or better still, that they didn't find him on the water! Turns out he's just been bored all this time, forging weapons for the despised Lannisters. Well, thanks for hammering those bitches, Gend. That scene was great...aw, man. Davos Seaworth, master bullshitter. xD Tyrion came along too soon and ruined it; whoopsie. (Also, the awkward exchange about what happened the last time either of them was there...xD;)
And Davos' "better a coward" quotes when Gendry joined Jon's forces were hilarious too ("Nobody mind me, all I did was live to a ripe old age...!")

But Tormund rivals Davos (and Sam! and Bronn) for the Quotes of the Week. "Which queen, the one with the dragons or the one that fucks her brother?" "The big woman?" Awww, he's probably been like, doodling little pictures of Brienne up there...:'} And leave it to a ginger to just be brutally honest! xD Anyways, so, Team Capture-a-Walker consists of him, Jon, Jorah, the Hound, Beric, Thoros, and Gendry. The trio we haven't seen for a while got there, and even old Sandor apparently believes in the LoL (Lord of Light) now. What a motley crew! ;p There were a few little disagreements before they pulled together, though. Gendry, again, like Varys, has good reason to distrust Beric & Thoros. But, I think we need to listen to Beric & Jon--"It doesn't matter what we think our purposes are." 'We're all on the same side; there's a greater purpose at work here, we can serve it together.' Voices of reason. Yes, work together! Ffs, get along or I'll belt yas. ("What's gonna work? TEEEEEEAAAMWORK!")
Also, in defense of Melisandre...nothing she's done has been out of her own will or any cruelty or sadism...but rather in pursuit, ultimately, of the same noble objective the rest of our "heroes" share. She's not evil. She did what she truly believed was required of her as a faithful LoL servant. And though she fucked up in a huge way (and knows it, being on the right track now), her faith's not misplaced. The LoL, it appears, is for realsies. We shall see what part he and the prophecy play in the final battles.

Now, JORAH...okay, I wish he'd credited Sam right away with curing him, but I'm sure that'll come up later. As of now, I'm shipping him and Dany, because we're getting closer to the reveal of Jon being her nephew (KEEP READING THAT BOOK, SAM & GILLY. Don't let your kid slobber all over it! Dx) Hopefully that'll turn her obviously strong feelings for HIM into simply familial ones. Here we see her having such feels for two different men, and for a long time now I've thought the idea of her eventually letting Jorah out of the friendzone (by actually falling in love with him, not just because he wants it) super-cute. So we'll see, but that's what I'm hopin' for. Honestly, it's hard to know whom to ship in this show (like, will we even see Hot Pie again?), but for her I'm sticking with that. "OUR QUEEN NEEDS YOU." Indeed, mofo. To fall in lurvy-durv with. Still, she's "grown used" to the King in the North over the past however-long he's been on Dragonstone, and clearly cares deeply about both these men. And now she's watching them leave for a dangerous mission in the frozen North, headed beyond the Wall to return some desperately-needed proof. ;_; (Will aaaaanything knock sense into Cersei?!) 

Ya also got muthafuggin' Littlefucker attempting to drive a wedge between Arya & Sansa, sowing seeds of sisterly animosity. Piss Arya off at Sansa, make Sansa see her murderous little sis as dangerous, get closer to his goal... OUTWIT HIM, Arya. And please, for the love of piping-hot pies, kill the slimeball. Both sisters raised good points in their little tiff there, about the jerks dissing Jon and the need for everyone to work together diplomatically versus using force....and then of course, the matter of Sansa "getting what she really wants." Oh, Arya, how could you even voice such a terrible thought? ;P Y'know, I'd been kinda sorta tilting toward Sansa's side for once. Never mind.

Only two episodes left of this season already? That's madness. Even if the finale is 80 minutes. (And the Season 8 ones are all that long, but there are only six...? Is that what my brother read before? I think so--or something similar. He hypothesized the writers realizing they couldn't wrap it all up with only this many episodes remaining, and having to give us a ninth season...I'm not holding out hope, though. It's probably already plotted.) I need more than an hour a week, man! ;.; The pace has obviously picked up rapidly as we begin approaching the climax, and there's really not much you can call "filler" anymore...aahh. I hate how the end of each ep slams on the brakes and whiplashes you and makes you wait another damn week. Supposedly the finale ends on a cliffhanger too, which, yeah, sure, is exactly what we need...totally. *-*