GoT S7 Finale!

Everyone is converging...and it turns out, it's all about cocks. All of it. Just cocks. Or maybe bread? Yeah, gonna have to consult with Jack & Tanner on that one, but it might all be just bread. And bees. Burn or bees. And nipple shields! Yes. Those stoic, cockless Unsullied with their patented nipple shields, and the contrastingly raucous, cocked Dothraki. Eeeeeyup.

So you've got cock-obsessed Bronn still lookin' out fo' hisself, bringing traitors straight to Cersei (like the little glance Tyrion & Varys exchange there.) He also takes Pod off for a drink while the "fancy" people chat, probably hoping to find out what in the seven hells he did to those prostitutes. xD
Stuff we know: Lannisters have bad ideas, and Cleganes help them carry out those bad ideas. The Hound gets a kick out of antagonizing wights (guess he was also making sure it was still alive--er, undead.) Jon is a good ol' country boy. Cersei wants the Mountain to kill Dany, Tyrion, and Jon first, in that order, should anything go "wrong."

"Cersei will anyway." Poor Tyrion!! >>; Awww, hahaha, the Hound & Brienne...Arya don't need no protecting. ;) Then for a moment I thought he was being protective of the mule/donkey pulling their prisoner; then I went, "Oh, duh." So then he challenges/threatens his hideous bro, and Dany makes an epic, fashionably late entrance, disembarking from her clear favorite child. We get a lame dwarf joke from Euron the sicko, and Cersei's not taking this seriously either. 'Til Sandor carries up his ginormo backpack. Letting that thing charge right at Cersei was a great move--much more effective than simply holding it on a leash (or doing the "Weekend at Cersei's" thing. XD) Even Qyburn is all, "Dafuq." You've got one undead slave, but these are uncontrollable.
That's right, Jaime--fuck loyalty! Coming from Element-of-Loyalty Brienne, no less!
Goddammit, Jon....even in a completely and utterly desperate situation, you won't lie a little. -_- He's the Element of Honesty for sure. Now Tyrion's gotta risk his life cuzza you. Cersei IS the most murderous bitch in the world, my god...I kneeewww there'd be no redeeming her. They start to lead you down that path a bit, but you've still got to be thinking, "She's gonna pull some shit..." And sho' 'nuff. Let's not blame Tyrion for Myrcella and Tommen, byatch. But she seriously doesn't give one single damn about anyone but herself. Totally self-centered. Yeah, we know you couldn't care less about checking your impulses or improving the world. We've known it from the start. So poor Jaime is fiiiiina-fucking-ly ditching your psycho ass! Took him long enough, but YAS! I mean, really--conspiring with Euron behind his back! I don't believe her either, Jaime. No one can trust her. No one. Is she pregnant? Who actually gives an actual shit? I knew she wasn't going to turn around, even slowly. Throughout the entire series she's shown no signs of softening, of remorse, of a good side potentially developing. Nope. She's just drifting ever-closer to Aerys-level madness. She bald-faced lies to Dany, Jon, & Co. just to get rid of them. She lies to her brother. Literally no one can trust her! *Everyone* should ditch her ass and head north.

...Ooooh, perty snowfall. :o And yet, ominous. Winter is truuuuly HERE.
"A dragon is not a slave." ;_;
LOL, leaving Sansa alone turned out not to be safe for LITTLEFINGER. Yaaasss, the Stark kiddos played him so good...exactly what we wanted transpired at last. All the weenies moaning about "lazy writing" of "manufactured drama" between the sisters, Arya being a "jerk"....how could you have doubted them? I fucking knew they were up to something. At least that Arya was for sure. And thank goodness it was all three! From some point, anyhow. You were a good actress, Sansa. ;) Had me fooled; I was still ready to cut ya. (Assuming you were acting at that point and the plot with your siblings had been planned earlier...actually, I just learned that there was a a deleted scene where Sansa was GOING to kill Arya, but consulted with Bran & learned the truth from him. So she truly was still stupid and naive and foolish and easily manipulated after all...relying on her all-seeing brother to get her on the right track. They only got rid of it because it spoiled the surprise of her turning on Baelish, who is decidedly not bae. Ugh. Admittance to the Awesome Redheads Club suspended, pending further evaluation. Man, I knew she wasn't smart enough to have been playing Baelish the whole time...for clarification there should've been a mention at the end of how/when Sansa had consulted with her siblings so that they could work together against him. It was almost assuredly after Littlefinger intimated that Arya wanted to kill her to become LoW.)
The siblings set Baelish up and shocked the hell out of him; he certainly hadn't seen this coming, and couldn't defend himself. xD Seeing him all sniveling and pleading and vulnerable felt odd, yet of course, right and satisfying...if pitiful. ;p But eh, he's indefensible. 
The sweet sisterly reconciliation was beautiful. "The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives." There it is. Even though Ned did always say that the one who passes the sentence should swing the sword, this was close enough; they all worked together, and it seems more appropriate for Arya to be the executioner. Baelish needed to be gotten rid of. He'd have been high on Arya's list long ago had she known.

Poor Jorah...!! ;; He wants to protect Dany, of course. (Poor Tyrion, too. ><) I'd just wear a hood, though; hide your hair. ;p
Good boy, Theon. (Who's a good boy??) Jon's SUCH a gud boi, too, to forgive you. But theennn, guess what! Your cocklessness proves a blessing when you stand up to that dickhole that wanted to forget Yara and continue your old ways. You kept gettin' knocked down and gettin' up again, he wasn't gonna keep ya down...and then ya wailed on him like BOO-YAAAHHHH!! Very inspiring. Now I hope you won't have to sacrifice yourself to save Yara. We shall see. I thought they might wrap that up this season, but I guess it'll be dealt with alongside the Great War and fucking Cersei. Speaking of whom--she's got a mercenary army coming from Essos with...wait, how the hell's Euron gonna get the elephants here? He's got ships big enough for that? You motherfuckers. (Well, we can hope the Golden Company will switch sides, eh? ;-)

We finally saw the 3-eyed raven, p/k/a Bran, being useful and doing the stuff we've waited for all season. Also, I love the way Sam talks. He's so adorable. "Ohh...! ...I don't know what means..." Nobody does, Sam. XD And yes, we know it was Gilly who first discovered the info on the annulment; I thought she was reading some of the stuff he had yet to transcribe. So he did read it in what he was transcribing, just as he told Bran, and he would've seen it whether or not Gilly had started to read it aloud. That was just a little premature shoutout for all of us who already knew. It would've been unnecessary for Sam to go, "My girl read about Rhaegar's annulment and then I transcribed the account of it." She was the first to (unknowingly) speak a word of it, so kudos to her for that, but Sam didn't lie or really need to give her credit for the discovery, or steal any glory from her. The only reason Sam now knows that his info is significant is that he just learned Aegon is Jon; it didn't mean anything major to him or Gilly before. Imagine "Jon Sand," though. Ain't got the same ring. So, hearing about the wedding from Sam allows Bran to see it. :O :D It's too weird to start calling Jon Aegon, though. xD He'll always be our Jon! Even if we sometimes call him "Egg" too...heheh.
We've got someone who knows nothing, including his true name and lineage...someone who can supposedly know any- and everything...someone who drinks and knows things...lul.

Yeah yeah, epic boatsex. We know. (WHO'S TOO LITTLE FOR YA NOW, DANY?!) Just wait'll they find out they screwed their aunt/nephew, and the actual heir to the Iron Throne bent the knee to the, like, second in line...who thought she was the last one and obviously the rightful queen. But see, she wants to rule and he isn't really interested. Is that going to change? I think there's a great chance they're both the Prince *and* Princess who were Promised, but I'd rather not have them married as king and queen. x-p Even though they're currently falling in love. Dx I guess he could just turn it over to her, but still be right by her side, and then everybody could be happy? And they can be close in a proper aunt-nephew kinda way, and maaaaybe she can marry and have kids with someone (*cough Jorah cough*??), or they can just hold a vote for their next king/queen/president. (Assuming Jon doesn't get her friggin' pregnant NOW, before learning who he really is. But with all the talk of her not being able to have more kids...=/ ) That's kind of what I've been hoping, though--the best possible ending with all the surviving good guys surrounding and helping her rule peacefully, and well. But hey, this is fucking GoT we're talking about here, so we may just as likely see the Night King win and wipe out humanity! =D Fuck it anyway, right? Most people are just dumb cunts!

YET. We can't help rooting for our 'good guys' in the face of all these enemies. (The Walkers have giants, ffs! Multiple giants!!) Night King's all, "Viserion, Ice Beam, now!" And it hurts so much to see our boi obey him. Down cometh ye olde Wall. Yonder cometh le dead. Pretty ice beams, though. I knew he'd breathe them--duh. Was surprised people were even wondering what he'd shoot now. (Edit: Apparently it's blue fire? Okay. Yeah. Well, either way it's the same effect, and you have ice+fire uniting on both sides of the Gr8 War.)
Also, Tormund & Beric had better be okay (and now I get why Beric had bid the Hound farewell last ep.) I really don't think they would've killed them without showing it, though, so most probably they got down and away in time and will show up next season. =} After all, the LoL didn't send Beric back six times just for THAT.
So this is really what we're down to now, since the last season will be shorter in number of episodes--but each one is supposed to be what, hour-and-a-half-ish too? (How I'd love a two-hour series finale!) So maybe it'll even out to what the ten-episode seasons were? We must hope. And commence a rewatch from episode 1 'til the final ones are here. The last season should be somewhere between this one and a regular one in length. Man oh man. Gotta defeat the dead AND Euron and Cersei. X_X Hopefully the Hound'll kill the Mountain somewhere in all of it. Bronn, you can only count on helping the side that looks like it's winning. (Hell, he'll join the dead if the Night King promises him a castle and a whore! xD) Will we see Daario again? I doubt it, but who knows? Same with Meera and whoever else doesn't seem promised a comeback. This leaves two people who could return and make a big difference. One, Melisandre, is virtually guaranteed. You can imagine her bringing some serious man/womanpower from Volantis and who knows what (might even see Kinvara again?) The other person is Jaqen, and the Faceless Men...might they yet have some role in all this? Or is he done with? (Oh, and of course, let's not forget our nonhuman allies--Ghost, Nymeria, and her pack will surely be heroes as well! We need all the help we can get!)
Anyways, the lines are drawn and it's on. Most of what was expected to happen in this finale did, so time to start speculating on just how this war's gonna go--on all fronts! 

*lol irl I just said "Dan & Jonny" instead of "Jon & Dany"*